10 truths and a lie

1. I write poems about the things I miss but I don’t want them back. Just moving forward from here on out, but not without a few nostalgic glances at what was.

2. It's dangerously easy to fall in love with ideas. Harder to let go, too.

3. I got so good at being alone; I forgot there are other ways of being.

4. My cries for help take the form of excessive journaling and reckless decision-making. My hands cramp, but I've gotten used to it. The consequences have been handed down, but I pretend they're not there.

5. Turns out I'm good at pretending, too.

6. I guess my real problem is not being able to be fully present in a situation. I never feel things as they come. I can't. My mind is either obsessing about the future or deconstructing the past.

7. Sometimes I mistake my selfishness for introversion. I don’t know if I will ever apologize for it.

8. I never believed silence could be louder than words until I felt it bouncing off walls. I wish the elephant would leave the room so I can breathe.

9. I dated someone for a week and realized I don’t have the emotional energy for any of it.

10. Some nights are harder than most but as long as I still have words, maybe I can get by just fine.

11. I think about holding your hands a lot.